Wind whipping,
sky grey and black.
Leafs blowing,
rain drops falling.
Your hair blowing in the wind,
like millions of threads flowing in a river.
Soft arms around me,
flowing hair on my chest,
caressing your warm body.
Soft rosy lips pressed against mine,
kissing you softly,
with my love.
Silky hands holding mine,
soft as the finest silk.
I love you...
...always.
11/17/88
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Why did I...
Why did I cause you pain,
that hit like a freight train,
why did I do it?
I hurt you,
I hurt,
my chest feels heavy,
I’m sorry doesn’t help,
to relieve the pain we both have inside.
I can’t get you off my mind,
I love you so.
Hold me once more
as we did before
Love came first,
pain was unthought of.
If you will not have me
then no one shall...
...ever more...
that hit like a freight train,
why did I do it?
I hurt you,
I hurt,
my chest feels heavy,
I’m sorry doesn’t help,
to relieve the pain we both have inside.
I can’t get you off my mind,
I love you so.
Hold me once more
as we did before
Love came first,
pain was unthought of.
If you will not have me
then no one shall...
...ever more...
Why
Hold me near
hold me dear
never let me go
I need you so.
You let me go,
why?
I thought we had
that special spark.
My love was true
what did I do
to loose you?
Was it another?
Is it another?
Tell me why
you love this other.
Was I pushy,
or too mushy?
I need to know,
why you don’t hold me near,
why you don’t hold me dear...
...anymore.
11/13/88
hold me dear
never let me go
I need you so.
You let me go,
why?
I thought we had
that special spark.
My love was true
what did I do
to loose you?
Was it another?
Is it another?
Tell me why
you love this other.
Was I pushy,
or too mushy?
I need to know,
why you don’t hold me near,
why you don’t hold me dear...
...anymore.
11/13/88
Welcome
Welcome...
Welcome to hell,
where I have been,
all my life,
pain, suffering, strife,
unseen blood,
all over.
Hearts ripped out,
by ones we love.
Stomped on again,
and again.
Destroyed,
given pain by my parents,
because I want to do.
Taking out on one younger,
face me,
attack the stronger one,
never the ones,
who doesn’t deserve,
living in hell,
where I have been.
Welcome to hell,
where I have been,
all my life,
pain, suffering, strife,
unseen blood,
all over.
Hearts ripped out,
by ones we love.
Stomped on again,
and again.
Destroyed,
given pain by my parents,
because I want to do.
Taking out on one younger,
face me,
attack the stronger one,
never the ones,
who doesn’t deserve,
living in hell,
where I have been.
Watching...
Watching...
Watching from afar,
my eyes open to everything,
wide awake inside,
watching...
waiting for my time,
waiting for my chance,
back in the shadows,
still I stand,
watching...
words spoken,
words lost,
still I sit,
watching...
time slips by,
faces change,
still I kneel,
watching...
madness slowly creeping in,
mind seeking sanity,
heart yearning,
still I lean,
watching...
Watching from afar,
my eyes open to everything,
wide awake inside,
watching...
waiting for my time,
waiting for my chance,
back in the shadows,
still I stand,
watching...
words spoken,
words lost,
still I sit,
watching...
time slips by,
faces change,
still I kneel,
watching...
madness slowly creeping in,
mind seeking sanity,
heart yearning,
still I lean,
watching...
Waiting for death...
Waiting for death.
As I sit here
waiting for death
counting the hours
before I die
before I die by my hand
feelings of hatred
feelings of pain
feelings of sorry
pulsate through my brain
make me shiver to watch
to be able to do nothing
except to die before dishonor
suicidal tendencies
is all I’ve had
is what I’ll do
die now before there is anymore
pain and suffering
the stench of death
attracts me now
more then ever
hold me breath
until death
no one can stop me this time
or ever
no one to control me
wait for death
counting the hours
before I die
before I die and my world ends
let death be quick...
As I sit here
waiting for death
counting the hours
before I die
before I die by my hand
feelings of hatred
feelings of pain
feelings of sorry
pulsate through my brain
make me shiver to watch
to be able to do nothing
except to die before dishonor
suicidal tendencies
is all I’ve had
is what I’ll do
die now before there is anymore
pain and suffering
the stench of death
attracts me now
more then ever
hold me breath
until death
no one can stop me this time
or ever
no one to control me
wait for death
counting the hours
before I die
before I die and my world ends
let death be quick...
Violent people...
Violent people,
trained to kill,
forced to survive,
never really lived,
don’t want to die,
serve the country,
protect the interests,
protect the loved ones,
I swear to protect this country,
the land of confusion,
this is the time,
give us the place,
and we will kill,
trained to do so,
fight til death,
or insanity.
trained to kill,
forced to survive,
never really lived,
don’t want to die,
serve the country,
protect the interests,
protect the loved ones,
I swear to protect this country,
the land of confusion,
this is the time,
give us the place,
and we will kill,
trained to do so,
fight til death,
or insanity.
Unsaid Feelings
Unsaid feelings
tears fall
raindrops fall
can’t believe myself.
Mind confused
out of control
wanting to be freed
independence limited
I am just one.
Can’t wake up
to see the real me
locking up feelings
locking up me.
Can’t really love
can’t share anything anymore
hide it inside
never let it free.
Hide the pain
don’t show love
a lonely tear forms
falls from my eye
as the rain falls.
So I never feel
or live free
totally free
my mind pounds,
alone.
One tear alone
no one to talk to
can not say my feelings
because I don’t know
what they are...
Anymore.
tears fall
raindrops fall
can’t believe myself.
Mind confused
out of control
wanting to be freed
independence limited
I am just one.
Can’t wake up
to see the real me
locking up feelings
locking up me.
Can’t really love
can’t share anything anymore
hide it inside
never let it free.
Hide the pain
don’t show love
a lonely tear forms
falls from my eye
as the rain falls.
So I never feel
or live free
totally free
my mind pounds,
alone.
One tear alone
no one to talk to
can not say my feelings
because I don’t know
what they are...
Anymore.
Torn between two
Torn between two,
the love for both burning inside,
tearing me apart,
bit by bit.
I want to hold them both,
love them both,
they say it’s wrong,
choose one,
can’t have both.
Who do I choose,
of the two,
I want them both,
not just one,
who do I choose...
...Life or death?
the love for both burning inside,
tearing me apart,
bit by bit.
I want to hold them both,
love them both,
they say it’s wrong,
choose one,
can’t have both.
Who do I choose,
of the two,
I want them both,
not just one,
who do I choose...
...Life or death?
Tore my heart apart
Tore my heart apart,
doused the fire in my eyes,
left me alone,
changed from the one I know,
the one I loved.
I made to many mistakes,
left on my own two feet,
I’ve been there before,
I’ll be there again.
Hated by hundreds,
loved by few,
one was you,
then tore my heart apart,
doused the fire in my eyes,
Left me alone...
...again.
doused the fire in my eyes,
left me alone,
changed from the one I know,
the one I loved.
I made to many mistakes,
left on my own two feet,
I’ve been there before,
I’ll be there again.
Hated by hundreds,
loved by few,
one was you,
then tore my heart apart,
doused the fire in my eyes,
Left me alone...
...again.
Tired Eyes
Tired eyes...
Unicorns glide through the shadows
Pegasus runs through the sky
It’s time to dream of the fantasy,
fill yourself with the magic of nowhere, everywhere.
Elven laughter sings
Fairies whisper to the wind
Leprechauns polish the sun
Wizards speak enchanted words with the trees
Dragons laugh with the rain
An enchanted forest buzzing with life,
lost yet not forgotten,
another Ogre slips into unconsciousness.
It’s time to dream of the fantasy,
fill yourself with the magic of nowhere, everywhere.
Fantasy land not far away,
just behind tired eyes.
Unicorns glide through the shadows
Pegasus runs through the sky
It’s time to dream of the fantasy,
fill yourself with the magic of nowhere, everywhere.
Elven laughter sings
Fairies whisper to the wind
Leprechauns polish the sun
Wizards speak enchanted words with the trees
Dragons laugh with the rain
An enchanted forest buzzing with life,
lost yet not forgotten,
another Ogre slips into unconsciousness.
It’s time to dream of the fantasy,
fill yourself with the magic of nowhere, everywhere.
Fantasy land not far away,
just behind tired eyes.
Time Floats Away
Time floats away,
pain fades out,
love dies out,
the spark fades with time.
Embers loose their brightness,
time takes away a lot,
the sights in your eyes change,
first one,
then another.
Thoughts vaporize,
into the past,
and time floats away,
Vaporizing.
pain fades out,
love dies out,
the spark fades with time.
Embers loose their brightness,
time takes away a lot,
the sights in your eyes change,
first one,
then another.
Thoughts vaporize,
into the past,
and time floats away,
Vaporizing.
Three Little Poems
Touch me now.
To your beauty I bow.
Soft hair,
flowing unbound.
Set me free to love you...
...eternally.
-----------------------------
Beauty unchained.
Love freely given,
to the one you love.
Hold on,
never let go,
or to all you will lose forever...
Your unchained beauty.
----------------------------------
You let go,
of the final blow.
You said no more,
you closed the door,
To the one,
who held you near to their heart...
...always.
To your beauty I bow.
Soft hair,
flowing unbound.
Set me free to love you...
...eternally.
-----------------------------
Beauty unchained.
Love freely given,
to the one you love.
Hold on,
never let go,
or to all you will lose forever...
Your unchained beauty.
----------------------------------
You let go,
of the final blow.
You said no more,
you closed the door,
To the one,
who held you near to their heart...
...always.
The Twinkle of a Star
The twinkle of a star,
moonbeams coming down from above.
The night sky reflecting in our eyes.
Together we lay,
on a blanket on a hill.
We are holding each other.
You in my arms and I in yours,
watching stars float away,
only to be seen in yours,
when they look into mine.
We watch all night,
just pausing to say,
I love you,
and steal a kiss.
We are swept away with the stars,
we make up pictures in the stars,
we smile,
then laugh.
We are in love,
the only ones who knows our stories,
is the bright stars.
A twinkle of a star,
means to me,
it’s listening to us,
because we are in love,
by a twinkle of a star.
moonbeams coming down from above.
The night sky reflecting in our eyes.
Together we lay,
on a blanket on a hill.
We are holding each other.
You in my arms and I in yours,
watching stars float away,
only to be seen in yours,
when they look into mine.
We watch all night,
just pausing to say,
I love you,
and steal a kiss.
We are swept away with the stars,
we make up pictures in the stars,
we smile,
then laugh.
We are in love,
the only ones who knows our stories,
is the bright stars.
A twinkle of a star,
means to me,
it’s listening to us,
because we are in love,
by a twinkle of a star.
The Stallion
The stallion rides
across a clear blue sky
flying high,
flying fast.
My love will last,
forgetting my past,
of pain and heartache,
of lost love.
The stallions eyes,
of warm summer skies,
I will never forget.
You see I love you,
you see I need you,
let me run by your side,
Forever...
across a clear blue sky
flying high,
flying fast.
My love will last,
forgetting my past,
of pain and heartache,
of lost love.
The stallions eyes,
of warm summer skies,
I will never forget.
You see I love you,
you see I need you,
let me run by your side,
Forever...
The Rancid Smell
The rancid smell,
of death in the air,
sitting in a trench,
filled with blood,
filled with death.
I remember the training,
I remembered to keep my head low,
bombs burst,
rifles crack,
machine gun starts it’s dance,
more will fall,
less will live.
Charge over the top,
into no-mans land,
feet stumble,
I try to dodge the fallen,
rifles cracking,
I run on,
towards the enemy,
jumped out with a hundred or two,
fifty or so left.
The call is sounded,
we all turn back,
fresh blood spilled,
over the old,
my mind on fire,
I’ve seen my opponents face.
Scared,
frightened,
young,
just like me,
in the trench.
The smell of death,
worse then before,
with the blood of hundreds,
glistening in the sun.
Just like me,
scared,
confused,
young,
in the trench,
scared of the enemy,
smelling the blood,
seeing the bodies,
just like me,
of our friends,
everywhere.
of death in the air,
sitting in a trench,
filled with blood,
filled with death.
I remember the training,
I remembered to keep my head low,
bombs burst,
rifles crack,
machine gun starts it’s dance,
more will fall,
less will live.
Charge over the top,
into no-mans land,
feet stumble,
I try to dodge the fallen,
rifles cracking,
I run on,
towards the enemy,
jumped out with a hundred or two,
fifty or so left.
The call is sounded,
we all turn back,
fresh blood spilled,
over the old,
my mind on fire,
I’ve seen my opponents face.
Scared,
frightened,
young,
just like me,
in the trench.
The smell of death,
worse then before,
with the blood of hundreds,
glistening in the sun.
Just like me,
scared,
confused,
young,
in the trench,
scared of the enemy,
smelling the blood,
seeing the bodies,
just like me,
of our friends,
everywhere.
The Prettiest Flower
The prettiest flower...
Why can’t I have the prettiest flower,
so tender and soft,
so gentle and mild,
yet ever so wild.
Could that wild flower ever love me?
Could it be mine?
I am blind,
yet I can see the beauty,
and not a flaw in it’s petals.
The prettiest flower, come with me,
so I can feel love in my heart once again,
and be with the prettiest flower,
I have ever seen,
Forever...
Why can’t I have the prettiest flower,
so tender and soft,
so gentle and mild,
yet ever so wild.
Could that wild flower ever love me?
Could it be mine?
I am blind,
yet I can see the beauty,
and not a flaw in it’s petals.
The prettiest flower, come with me,
so I can feel love in my heart once again,
and be with the prettiest flower,
I have ever seen,
Forever...
The Love
The love of a lifetime is only inches away,
yet it seems like miles before our lips meet,
because my love is so strong,
I can’t stand not having in my arms,
pressed against me forever...
yet it seems like miles before our lips meet,
because my love is so strong,
I can’t stand not having in my arms,
pressed against me forever...
The Gate
The gate,
where will it lead,
where will it go.
Want to leave,
want to stay,
afraid of the pain.
Fueled by hate,
will I change,
will I face more.
Don’t know,
a life of happiness,
or horror again.
Do I open it,
do I lock it,
don’t know,
if I should.
where will it lead,
where will it go.
Want to leave,
want to stay,
afraid of the pain.
Fueled by hate,
will I change,
will I face more.
Don’t know,
a life of happiness,
or horror again.
Do I open it,
do I lock it,
don’t know,
if I should.
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