Under My Scars...

 Under my scars, there is life,

Under my scars, there is pain,

Under my scars, there is love,

Under my scars, there is hate,

Under my scars, there is happiness,

Under my scars... 

    there is me...

When...

When I looked for someone,
I found you.
When I needed someone,
You were there.
When life hounded me,
You howled back with me.
When time stood still,
You held me close.
When I found you,
You became my everything.
When life was meaningless,
You brought it back.
When I am sad,
You make me happy.
When I am cold,
You smile and give warmth.
When I am feeling alone,
You are with me.
When my eyes close,
You meet me in my dreams.
When I am scared,
You hold me.

I will...

I will fight with my brothers,
I will fight with my sisters.
I will be strong,
I will be strong...

I will stand beside them,
I will stand behind them.
Onwards to victory,
Onwards to victory...

I will,
I will.
So that glory may be ours,
So that glory will be ours.

I have....

I have nothing to do,
Come do it with me.
I have nothing to say,
Come say it with me...

I have nothing to think about,
Come think about it with me.
I have nothing to worry about,
Come worry about it with me...

I have nothing to read,
Come read it with me.
I have nothing to look at,
Come look at it with me...

I have nothing to lose,
Come lose it with me...
I have nothing to scream about,
Come scream about it with me...

I have nothing to hope about,
Come hope about it with me.
I have nothing to wait for,
Come wait for it with me...

I have nothing to do,
Come do it with me.
I have nothing to say,
Come say it with me...

A little poem.... about Cookie's

As the crystal  glistens,
In the moons shimmering  light,
I feel my eyes fall,
Fall heavily downwards.

Into dreams I do adventure,
Brave to the  darkness,
My blood pulsing,
My heart racing.

I feel the waves,
My feet sinking in the sand,
Heart beating faster,
Trying to be brave.


As the crystal glistens,
In the moon's shimmering light,
I feel my eyes fall,
Fall heavily downwards.....

        .... dang it... so that is where the cookie went!....

Weird Dream 2

I dreampt that I was a captured woman, who was property of a King that was at war I thought when I was pulled out of the delivery cage that I had been sealed and delivered in. I had no idea how or why, even who or what had caused this to happen to me. To be taken as a slave for no reason was unheard of. The King and I spoke about my tasks that I was to do for him.... they shocked me! I was to be his bearer of children if he wanted, and more, his footstool or his toilet, to pleasure alien visitors that came to his planet, whatever. He said all this while planning battle movements on a map with little figurines. Across a large lake, I could see another army, doing drills and stuff. I went on complaining about my capture as a slave and wanted to know why, but got ignored. 
  Suddenly the King yelled out, "So are you done with this war now John? I'm getting bored, it's not fun anymore, you?"
  A reply was yelled back a few moments later, "You best be ready, this move will be one to go in the books!" 
Next instant I was standing on a hill with the King and several generals and could see the other "King" with his on another hill beside us, within loud talking distance. Suddenly like twenty men from both sides started moving, marching towards each other slowly at first from a great distance. Then they started to run. Screaming and yelling, battle cries curdling in the air. The terrain between the two lines wasn't easy, but they didn't have a choice. The two Kings and their generals watched, sipping drinks and snacking on grapes and stuff while watching. Onwards the troops ran, suddenly one guy tripped and fell out of line. The other King stood up and chuckled. The King I was enslaved to seemed furious, but didn't react. The soldier that had fallen got back up and started running to catch up, but it didn't look like he would. I heard two of the generals talking to their slave girls and themselves about what was going to happen to the soldier that fell after the game was over.

  My mind exploded at that! This "war" was all fake but whatever happened that caused me, an innocent farmers daughter to be enslaved for this so called Kings pleasure? All this King has is money and title. The planet we all live on wasn't ruled by and that way anymore.... But.... Where did he suddenly get the power to make people do all this? Why are they? All dressed in ancient armor, fighting with swords, spears, bows, and such... with futuristic guards standing watch over cities and the King? Me in an old tattered looking farmer girl dress, all the other slave girls in fancy clothes or naked...
They kept sounding worried about the soldier that fell, I was instructed to carry a tray of drinks around to both sides and when I did, the two "mountains" disappeared to me. I was in a large observation box type thing, with a huge window looking down on and at the troops! I offered the others the drinks but didn't say a word, just held the tray and looked at the troops below. 
  A loud comment came out, "That boy that fell will be your downfall King!" 
Without a warning the person who said that was dragged away by two guards, a loud, muffled scream was heard, like someone falling down a long chute to their doom, but the whispers of what would happen continued. I could see the King I was enslaved to being all cocky and such, the other one, come to find out, was his brother. This was a game that they played instead of real fighting and killing their people to fend off boredom and promote unity and competition between the two sides of the planet so that it kept spinning around and around... And me... the enslaved farmers daughter... seems they say that my father had owed them some gambling debts and didn't have the money to pay so... paid his debt with me....

Weird Dream

I awoke today,  to  such  a weird dream. It  sort of intrigued me, yet... frightened me also on how people are. 
I awoke in the dream an old man, in a new house. It was different to me yet seemed I had been there a while. I didn't know it in my dream state but yet my body seemed to know what to do from being there for a few days I guess. Suddenly I started yelling that I needed to go back to the old house to get my computer and toolkit so that I could better fix my room in the attic.
.the attic room was quite odd. My bed was held above the floor not only by the bed frame, but by another bed frame turned upside down! This made my bed quite a distance from the floor, no not what you think...  if I was to go off the side to the right side, the side placed against the ceiling joists, between them I mean, I would go down to the original attic floor. A fine smoothly polished wood floor it looked like when I saw it when I was half asleep in my dream. 

Next thing I remember I started down that side. Climbing down the bed frame and finding out that is how my bed was held up and that the feet of my bed were barely on the feet of the other bed! I tried to adjust them and got them close enough and climbed back up.... but I wanted my tools to fasten them so they wouldn't move anymore. What was that? Something down there whisked by....

Suddenly I was walking down a street towards our old house to get my stuff somehow, I was determined to get it and yes, a stubborn old man.  i watched as two kids were Hover-boarding and set up a large piece of plywood as a ramp to hover-board down. One of the kids sounded worried, but the other boasted  and acted all cocky, saying he'd be able to stop his hover-board in plenty of time. 
Down he went. Faster then light it seemed and all I heard was a series of crashes and crunches. Straight through the front door of someones house he just went! She pulled him out of her house by the ear, yelling and cursing at him. Telling him she called his father to come collect him and punish him for what he did. 
A junky old blue van pulled up and the kids climbed in, the guy said his apologies, but I could not hear them as I was a distance away. The old van started and squealed as it pulled out of the driveway and turned down the street. Next I knew it pulled up beside me and it was an old friend of mine. He offered me a ride, and I told him where I was going. It was still a long ways away, so I climbed in and sat in the front seat. He knew I couldn't sit in the back, I'd get car sick on him. Hooking my seat-belt the two kids seemed to look familiar to me somehow....  the one that crashed through the house looked like Cartman and the other like Michel from that old TV show. Also in the van were two dogs, ones that had long since died that I knew of, at least when I was awake, a  dingo type dog named Sandy, and her adopted daughter, a Siberian husky female which I forget the name of, but they both remember me. They both start licking my forearm lovingly since it is the only exposed flesh they can reach as I go to help my old friend who is driving, keep the van running and stop smoking. Looking at him, my old friend, his face looks familiar also to me... my old friend Leroy.

We stop in an empty section of a parking lot to let the dog out and stretch our legs a bit when suddenly a Jeep pulls up and a woman gets out. Her face looks a little familiar also to me. Her attitude makes me chuckle as she says, "Remember me you old man?"
Nearly laughing I respond, "How can I forget the one who gave me this scar my crazy cousin Laura?" In her Jeep were three children, one with red hair one with blond and one with jet black hair and super white skin. She introduced me to them, and the blond went off to play with the boys, the jet black hair with super white skin  disappeared to the other side of the blue van and started doing something that seemed to start getting Laura upset, and the redhead seemed to be fascinated by me, in ways I do not understand. They almost seemed... like an attraction, like she was into old men or something.
The worry turned to Laura yelling at her child on the other side of the van and what she was doing. I told her to go spank her and she said she can't because of what Star Fleet would think, and what she could do if she did, about her ability to make it super cold around her and such. I told Laura I'd handle this with one of the dogs then, she looked at the Sandy dog and so did the other kids and I shook my head very slowly, "That's not the only one that you all should really worry about..." and I pointed to the Siberian husky female, making sure I was loud enough so the other side could clearly hear me also....

  Suddenly we were driving again, going down a one-way street towards a normal road. It was like I had been napping and asked my friend if he could help me by bringing my tool kit and computer back to my new house. He started telling me that a tool kit is tiny and I could take public transportation back. I tried to tell him it was much larger, even had one of his kids help me make up a hologram projection in the back of his van after he did for his idea of a toolkit. 
He grumbled and drove on, until suddenly a car was coming down the middle of the street for no reason! I didn't realize but the kids had been driving along in the van without a seat belt the entire time! What if this had happened? What will happen to the kids? My friend  flashed his lights at the other guy, tried to avoid the other guy again and again, but every time my friend Leroy tried to avoid the guy, the guy maneuvered to be exactly in front of him. 
I grew worried and worked hard to try to stop the smoke that started again. The dogs saw the chance to lick my forearms exposed skin again, which they were loving. Just as we were going to hit, I could see the other drivers face... he was asleep at the wheel, head laid back and had to be snoring since his mouth was so wide open.
  
  We collided hard, a massive side strike. Luckily Leroy was able to pull away. We sighed a little and looked out the window... he was coming again!!! This started to worry us, and we avoided it a bit better and kept happening. we even avoided it all together! And yet it happened again.... This made Leroy angry, the true hate and evil way he let out scared his two dogs, but yet his children grabbed onto the backs of the seats and cheered him on! A complete head-on collision. The other car spun off the road and off into the sky. all damaged, destroyed. Leroy's blue van,who's inspection sticker was way way out of date,  11/15/96, had no damage at all...

  Without warning I was at the old house and struggling to get up to my room to get my computer. but not getting any help from a friend who was there trying to get what she could that we left behind that was clearly junk and worthless. Stuff that was not protected by my personal booby-traps and force fields. She was a familiar face also, they hair easily gave her away also, Maggie. A known gossip hound woman and always out to please her Master and husband. She was busy chattering away on her cellphone as she walked around, going through everything while I struggled up the stairs. I yelled that I needed some help carrying it down, and got told it would cost me more then it was worth for them to help carry it down... So I told them I'd carry it down myself if I had to. They looked shocked, thinking I'd kill myself doing that, looked very worried and started arguing with each other... 

    Next thing I know, I woke up in my bed, it was making all sorts of noises and rocking and swaying for no reason it seemed. I climbed out of bed and loaded up my tool belt. I was going to stop this or else! Back into bed and climbed out down between the joists and slowly along the bedframe. carefully I moved and positioned, getting them precise and started fastening them with screws and bolts....  What the hell? I didn't just see a person run by on the polished floor down below did I? 
After finishing I climb down further to fasten loose bracing bars, a low groaning is heard, "Stop that damn noise!" 
I can see their are some kind of home type area in the distance and see what seems to be children playing in and around old antiques and lost bits through the floorboards that cover the fine polished floor. I sneak up slowly and carefully, my old military training stuck deep inside my forgetful brain tho. Their faces.... stripped of all emotions except one anger.... They yell and fight over everything just to keep alive it seems. I sat and watched them a few moments, listening to them, listening to two people breaking up badly, seemingly falsely accusing each other of cheating. The whole set of people seemed to glow down there, their arguments all all started anew. their faces looked the same tho. Skin pale, face round, eyes very sunken into the head surrounded by deep, dark blood red heavily scrunched sockets, their lips the same in texture and coloration. The female ones had delicate, almost baby fine light colored hair.

Still I heard a voice screaming about the noise every time I turned my wrench to fix the problem with the bed. I yelled back to come see what I was doing and to understand that it I did it right the first time, I'd never have to worry about coming again and making the noises down here again. But the voice grew meaner and louder, stating I was being improper to my queen. 
I learned that these creatures strived and fed on anger, so I tried to reason with them, explain, and work out the differences in order to stop them from growing in power and taking control. Everything was not working until at last I finally gave up and went off.
"FINE! I'll rip up every floorboard in my room and expose your super polished floor to the sunlight! And I'll sit in my bed up there and watch you all have to deal with ALL emotions especially the biggest one around that you people can't beat.... LOVE." 

.... and that is when I woke up.