Wind whipping

Wind whipping,
sky grey and black.
Leafs blowing,
rain drops falling.

Your hair blowing in the wind,
like millions of threads flowing in a river.
Soft arms around me,
flowing hair on my chest,
caressing your warm body.

Soft rosy lips pressed against mine,
kissing you softly,
with my love.

Silky hands holding mine,
soft as the finest silk.
I love you...
...always.

11/17/88

Why did I...

Why did I cause you pain,
that hit like a freight train,
why did I do it?
I hurt you,
I hurt,
my chest feels heavy,
I’m sorry doesn’t help,
to relieve the pain we both have inside.
I can’t get you off my mind,
I love you so.
Hold me once more
as we did before
Love came first,
pain was unthought of.
If you will not have me
then no one shall...
...ever more...

Why

Hold me near
hold me dear
never let me go
I need you so.

You let me go,
why?
I thought we had
that special spark.

My love was true
what did I do
to loose you?

Was it another?
Is it another?
Tell me why
you love this other.

Was I pushy,
or too mushy?
I need to know,
why you don’t hold me near,
why you don’t hold me dear...
...anymore.

11/13/88

Welcome

Welcome...

Welcome to hell,
where I have been,
all my life,
pain, suffering, strife,
unseen blood,
all over.
Hearts ripped out,
by ones we love.
Stomped on again,
and again.
Destroyed,
given pain by my parents,
because I want to do.
Taking out on one younger,
face me,
attack the stronger one,
never the ones,
who doesn’t deserve,
living in hell,
where I have been.

Watching...

Watching...

Watching from afar,
my eyes open to everything,
wide awake inside,
watching...
waiting for my time,
waiting for my chance,
back in the shadows,
still I stand,
watching...
words spoken,
words lost,
still I sit,
watching...
time slips by,
faces change,
still I wait,
watching...
madness slowly creeping in,
mind seeking sanity,
heart yearning,
still I lean,
watching...

Waiting for death...

Waiting for death.

As I sit here
waiting for death
counting the hours
before I die
before I die 

by my hand
feelings of hatred
feelings of pain
feelings of sorry
pulsate through my brain
makes me shiver to watch
to be able to do nothing
except to die before dishonor
suicidal tendencies
is all I’ve had
is what I’ll do
die now before there is anymore
pain and suffering
the stench of death
attracts me now
more than ever
hold my breath
until death
no one can stop me this time
or ever
no one to control me
wait for death
counting the hours
before I die
before I die 

and my world ends
let death be quick...

Violent people...

Violent people,
trained to kill,
forced to survive,
never really lived,
don’t want to die,
serve the country,
protect the interests,
protect the loved ones,
I swear to protect this country,
the land of confusion,
this is the time,
give us the place,
and we will kill,
trained to do so,
fight til death,
or insanity.